As I lifted my head from the arm chair, I couldn't decide what hurt worse, the crick in my neck from sleeping sideways, or the pounding in my head from the copious amounts of alcohol I had consumed a few hours earlier. As I tried to recall what events preceded my awkward rest, bigger and more troubling questions started to surface. Questions like, "What I am doing with my life, where am I headed, and why am I so unhappy?" Just a few months earlier I left home to start my studies at the university, full of hope and high expectations. I looked forward to the challenge of studying at a higher level and the freedom of living on my own, out from under my parents' control. I imagined college would be full of good times, deep friendships, and self-discovery.

          Things didn't go exactly like I expected, however. As I sat there in the dark, I realized I didn't like who I was becoming. Instead of lasting relationships I saw myself becoming more and more sarcastic and superficial with my classmates. It seemed like the goal of our conversations was to see how much we could ridicule and belittle each other. Everything took on this dark, cynical edge. I felt like I was living in a black and white Humphrey Bogart movie with my hat cocked to the side and a cigarette hanging from my mouth. Life was a sick joke to be endured rather than an adventure to enjoy. 

          As for good times, I embraced just about everything that college life had to offer. But it was funny; we talked about each party as if it was the greatest party ever since the dawn of time. The problem was, I left each one feeling more disconnected and distant from the people I came with and increasingly empty with the pointlessness of it all. 

          A couple of months after my dark night of the soul, I was invited to a weekend getaway with a group of Christians. I really didn't want to go and made all kinds of excuses, but on Friday afternoon I found myself on a bus driving into the foothills of Virginia. Here I found a completely different atmosphere from what I was experiencing at school. These people obviously cared for each other and pursued meaningful relationships with one other. Instead of tearing each other down they were actively encouraging and building one another up. And they liked to talk about things of significance, like God, love, eternity and virtue. 

          Late one night I found myself in a room filled with small groups of students praying for each other and for the world. At one point I lifted my head and looked around the room at all the bowed heads and hushed prayers. At that moment I said to myself, "This is what I've been looking for. Whatever it is these people have, I want it." That's when I whispered my own prayer. From that moment everything in my life changed...