If there really is a God...  I am sure He is not very happy with me.  And I KNOW that He would want nothing to do with me. 

Can you relate to those thoughts?  For most of my life I had very few thoughts about God.  I figured if He did exist - He sure didn't love me.  Because you see - I wasn't a very good guy.  In my childhood, I tormented my younger brother and sisters - and as I grew older, I experimented with drugs and alcohol.  If there was a way get ahead by lying or stealing - I would do it.  Why not?  I figured anyone else would do the same thing - so why get left behind?

By the time I was a junior in the university, my double life was starting to catch up to me.  I told people that "I believed in God" - but my life did not demonstrate that statement.  Finally - a friend of mine asked me one night - "You say that you believe in God - so why do you act the way that you do"?  Chuck was a person who truly believed that God was real and that He cared about our lives.  I was challenged by that thought.  I guess I really did believe that God was real - but I was still puzzled by my thought that He would not care for me. 

A few weeks later I found my friend Chuck again and asked him if God could really care about a person who "was not very good".  Chuck told me that "none of us were good enough for God".  I had trouble with that.  I knew some good people - and I thought for sure that the Pope or some other "saint" would have God's "stamp of approval".  However, Chuck told me that even one bad deed in an entire life was enough to "cut us off" from God.  That wasn't great news for me - but at least it put me in a place with everyone else.

The next thing he told me "rocked my world".  He told me that in spite of my "sins" - God loved me and wanted a relationship with me.  He told me that God was willing to forgive ALL of my bad deeds and even give me the power to do what I knew was right.  That was good news because I had often tried to "the right thing" - but always failed. 

I began to investigate the story of Jesus.  I found out that non-Christian historians talked about a real person named Jesus who lived in Israel, did miracles, and even rose from the dead.  If this really did happen - I decided to take Jesus up on His offer of personal forgiveness.  That day I asked him to forgive my sin and make me the kind of person He wanted me to be. 

Years later - He still lives within me.  And though I still sin - and I know that I will never be "good enough" for God.  I know He loves and accepts me because of what Jesus has done for me.  I am forever grateful.